Birthday Flowers

It never gets old:

My real estate agent sent me flowers for my birthday. They were left out in the rain by UPS. By the time I opened the door, they were frozen. I called that company and they are sending me new ones.

I feel bad for Sybil. She has the worst luck with flowers. They always seem to come damaged. The replacements seem to come damaged too. By the third set, the florist catches on though.

Old Bitch

Seventy seven years and nine months ago, my grandmother went to a back alley abortion doctor behind Moisha's Bakery on 2nd Avenue in NYC. I don't care how many hamantaschen that plumber claimed to have stuck up there, he clearly didn't go to medical school because on January 13th, 1938, Sybil began her reign of terror.

Here's to another seventy seven!