800K

A little background on the characters in today's story:

Carol - My mother's friendemy who coincidentally was also a school teacher in the Bronx.  Over the years she enjoyed telling my mother how she was having an affair with the school janitor.  Recently she shared her fear of being pregnant with the custodian's child.  She is 76.  She has also told my mother that she plans to give all her money to her daughter as she didn't really care for her son. Key take away is Sybil hates her for having a husband that made a living. Currently alive.

Carol's Husband - Orthodontist in Brooklyn. Known for cursing at Sybil anytime she called the house. Sybil claimed he cursed at anyone who called but I suspect he had caller i.d. Deceased.

Now for today's story:

On my way to work I called Sybil. After some unpleasantries, she told me that Carol found 800k in her dead husband's closet.  Carol gave the money to her daughter to buy a house on Long Beach Island. Out of shear boredom I decided to ask a few follow up questions:

Barry: So he had 800k in cash in the closet?
Sybil: Yeah, I guess he didn't pay taxes on some money or something.

How many orthodontists take cash? If they did, how many mouths would you have to wire up before you had 800k in cash?

Barry: And she just gave the cash to her daughter. What can you do with that much cash?
Sybil: She bought a house.
Barry: You said, but she paid in cash?
Sybil: No she used a check.
Barry: But how did the cash become a check?
Sybil: My leg hurts.  It keeps twisting.

Sybil saying her leg hurt is the equivalent of me saying "Alright" when I am ready to get off the phone with her. We both hung up without saying goodbye.

My take away from the conversation was that Carol probably found 4 crisp twenty dollar bills in her dead husband's pants pocket and Long Beach Island is no place I ever want to go.

She aint dead!

Recently I texted my friend that I was thinking of going to New Jersey in October to visit my mother. He responded with, "I thought she passed." I laughed and said "Ha, never." For a second I wondered where he got such a crazy idea, but then I remembered when I started this blog I made a joke on my other blog about Sybil being dead. Clearly he never made it to the bottom of the post where I put a disclaimer about Sybil being alive and kicking (an aide).

Now that I think about it, he might be the worst friend ever. That was more than a year ago. Least he could have done was sent a condolence card.

She will live forever!!