Sunday, December 27, 2015

The Whitney Houston Suite

During this glorious visit, Sybil decided to stay at the Beverly Hilton.  It is just far enough away to be a complete pain in the ass to see her.  With no regard for the fact I have to drive back and forth she has regaled me with tales of how the trip is costing her $6,000 and as soon as she gets home she is calling corporate because her room is shit.  Her words, not mine.

Being the invalid that she is, she needed a handicap room.  I let her know months in advance that she should put a request in for one. Her response was I should mind my business and she took care of it.  When Sybil checked in, the first thing I noticed was her room had a tub shower. Unless the room had a hidden crane in the closet, there was no way she was getting in that tub to wash herself.  At best she might be able to wash her hoof by dipping it in the toilet. When I asked her about the room, she told me she complained to the front desk, but they told her there were other people in the hotel that needed the handicap rooms more than her. Again her words not mine.

After further probing I discovered management offered Sybil another room, but she refused it because she claimed it was too much trouble. Translation, if she takes the other room she can't go home and protest the charges on her credit card based on elder abuse.

Sybil also told me that she was faint so the hotel sent a sandwich to her room.  When she checked her bill (does it daily) she saw they billed her for said sandwich.  She complained until they removed the charge. The sandwich was also shit (again her words) and she didn't finish it (left a piece of crust) so why should she pay for it. Why indeed.

Even the finest graduates of Cornell's School of Hotel Administration are not prepared for this.





Saturday, December 26, 2015

There's been an awakening

In years to come, most people will remember December 18th, 2015 as the day the new Star Wars movie came out. I will remember it as the day Sybil came for two weeks. My own personal intergalactic battle with good and evil. No CGI required.  This nightmare was done with all practical effects. J.J. Abrams would be proud.

I've seen The Force Awakens and most of the dialogue matches up perfectly to her trip. See for yourself. Major spoilers ahead:

There are stories about what happened.
It's true. All of it.

Escape now; hug later.

Show me again the power of the darkness, and I'll let nothing stand in our way.

I was raised to do one thing... but I've got nothing to fight for.

Okay, stay calm... stay calm... 
I am calm.
I was talking to myself.

He almost killed me 6 times!

You're a monster.

NOOOO!

I need help with this big hairy thing!

Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish like his father, so I destroyed him.

I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?

Look how old you've become.

I'll show you the Dark Side.


I have a whole collection of posts related to her visit that will trickle out in the next few days. Sorry for the delay, but it is hard to type when you are in the fetal position.