Spring Cleaning

As documented here and in random pictures at the police department it has been proven that Sybil has legendary hoarding skills. I always like to reference the box of classical music CDs that NatWest Bank was giving out to customers. Most customers took one CD, Sybil took a case. This hoarding is not just limited to nonperishable items, the kitchen at her house has a collection of food that is insane. There are at least 500 soy packets laying around from Chinese dinners throughout the years and let's not forget the long expired box of Franken Berry still in the cereal cabinet from my childhood. 

I guess there is a limit for everyone because Sybil did clean out the freezer once in the last twenty years. This is how she did it. My brother had this heavy set friend visiting from college that mentioned he was hungry and Sybil jumped up and said, "Let me make you something." She suddenly was all motherly. 

Sybil then proceeded to take every item out of the freezer that had expired ten years ago and offered them up to this poor boy. I sat there as my mother microwaved Howard Johnson's Clams and Ronzoni lasagna, followed by a Saralee pound cake. This kid just plowed through all this expired crap. At one point I saw him drinking a glass of chocolate milk. There was no chocolate sauce in our house!

After about an hour the freezer was bare, the microwave was hot, and this kid was full. I expected him to vomit on the steps, but instead he just dropped his glass of milk, sending glass and chocolate everywhere. I assume this happened because he was woozy from eating poison. I asked Lewis later if he ever got sick and the only response I got was, "I never asked."