Better rates than Priceline

For years my mother has been torturing me by coming to visit with open ended plane tickets. I will get a general idea of when she is leaving, then she will add three days to that, two if I'm nasty. During these trips, Sybil likes to stay at the wonderful Beverly Hills Hilton. It's where they hold Hollywood parties and I once accosted Steven Seagal for an autograph.   To your average person, paying for this hotel would be considered an extravagance, but when Sybil's pocketbook is involved it suddenly becomes quite affordable.

Here is Sybil's three step program to literally stay in the hotel for pennies a day:

Step 1:
When booking the hotel, request a government employee rate. Be as vague as possible as to what government job you have. When checking in, show them our long expired UFT (United Federation of Teachers) card. If any questions are asked, request a manager and scream at the top of your lungs you always are given that rate. 

Step 2:
Request the room next to the elevator on the first floor in the south part of the hotel. With the proper complaining a minimum of two nights will be taken off the stay due to excessive elevator noise at night.

Step 3:
Complain to your sister in law that lives by the hotel that you have no money. This will usually net a check worth a few nights of the stay.

Bonus Steps:
Complain that the food is salty when you are eating your complimentary breakfast. This will net a coupon for a free dinner.

Tell Merv that your son does PR and maybe you can work out a deal to trade nights for his services. Merv died before giving her an answer. 

With these steps your average night stay will be $49. I'd like to see Shatner do better.