Among soy packets, medicine bottles, crumbs, a Time magazine about the ongoing hunt for Osama, I found a prescription hand pump full of lidocaine.
Barry: What is this?
Sybil: Can you rub that on my back? Oy. It hurts. That should help.
I should note Sybil wasn't in the kitchen when I asked. I'm pretty sure she would have given me the same response if I was holding a soy packet.
I wasn't sure what to do. Being this is my mother and she gave me life I shouldn't have hesitated to help alleviate her pain. Forty-four minutes later I finally relented.
Barry: Fiiiiiiiiiine I'll do it.
Later that day she tried to get me to do it again. Fool me once...
Barry: Sophia, go help grandma with her special lotion.
Sophia gladly did it. She doesn't know any better and as I said, what's the point of therapy if she hasn't had anything traumatizing happen to her.
I later used the lidocaine to masturbate.
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