When I was a young teenager my mother told me if I ever went on a date to make sure we went Dutch.
Barry: What's Dutch?
Sybil: It's where you split the bill. There is no reason you should be paying for her.
Barry: But it's a date.
Sybil: So what.
Barry: But you always make everyone pay if they take you out.
Sybil: Everyone has more than me.
Uh huh. Even with my limited knowledge of girls, I knew that if I asked a girl to split a bill with me, there was no chance of me getting boob.
Turns out paying didn't help.
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