Saturday, May 17, 2014

My grandmother's Ad in the back of Screw magazine

In 1985 my maternal grandmother passed away. It was a sad time for all of us. I lost a grandmother, my mother lost a person to fight with in broken Yiddish. Then again, there now was a vacant bedroom in the house. More on that later. About a month after my grandmother was laid to rest, the house phone rang and the call went something like this:

Caller: Is Katie there?
Sybil: She passed away. Can I ask who's calling?
Caller: That's too bad. From her ad it sounded like she liked to fuck.
Click!

So that was a bit odd.  Did someone see my grandmother's obituary and think it would be funny to make a prank call? My mother slammed the phone down and screamed about the animal on the other end.  I sat there clueless. Then it happened again.

Caller: Is this Katie?
Sybil: Heh?
Caller: So how are we going to do this?  Meet at the Coach House Diner?  I have an 11 inch dick.
Sybil: How dare you.  My mother is dead!
Click!

Then it happened again. And again. And again. Finally my mother was able to put her hysteria away long enough to ask a caller where they got her mother's information. Apparently there was an Ad in a Screw magazine detailing how a woman named Katie that liked to fuck, could be reached at our home phone number.

My mother called Screw and tried to get the info on who placed the Ad. They wouldn't give it up, but we did get a free subscription for our trouble.



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